The use of music to understand the transferring of energy.

The words do seem to get in the way a lot of the time.  There are so many words, and ways to say them (tone of voice, pitch, intention, etc.), that we get lost in conclusions and assumptions well before a person is even given the chance to explain their experience.  By that time we have lost what it is that we were trying to say.  With music, there really are no connotations, and very little assumptions.  Although, once a person gets to know any language, there are ways to build walls and defenses around particular issues. 

The point is, we can begin to understand the idea that we transfer our issues to other people, by watching the musical relationship and looking for parallels.  You will find them.  Let me give you an example:  A music therapist plays the drum with his client every week for about a year.  They begin to get to know each other.  The client is a man who has not been supported by women in his life, he subtly asks the therapist to support him.  Over this same period of time, the therapist comes from a past in which she was known to be the rock in her family and was there for her family "on every beat."  Now, you can imagine that after about a year of supporting the client in the music, the therapist starts to feel stuck and as a good therapist does, she took the music to a supervision session.  One colleague stated, "Did you know that you are playing on every beat with her?"  The therapist began to realize that she was playing the drum on every beat.  After this realization, she began to try not playing on every beat with the patient, however, the patient would slip and mess up, leading the therapist to feel bad and continue to play on every beat, despite feeling uncomfortable.  After a while, the therapist speaks to the client about the issue.  The client stated, "thank goodness you said something - sometimes I feel like you are supporting me too much, I don't feel like I can find my own independent rhythm here." 

It made perfect sense, the therapist had gotten in a rut of feeling responsible for the client, to be there for her consistently, but began to feel resentment and guilt about it.  Meanwhile, the client was feeling huddled over and too contained, not being able to play different beats.  This dynamic was conveyed through the music all along.  The two persons issues were conflicting, but when the issue was communicated verbally, the pattern began to change between them.  The music began to change to be less parallel and more interactive.  The client's relationships became more intimate and she was able to achieve things that she hadn't previously had the courage to attempt.

I love this story because it makes so much sense.  At this lecture, I will be looking at the parallels of music and countertransference while drawing on life examples and relationship dynamics that are difficult to address verbally.