Managing the Dynamic of Countertransference in Relationships

As often as I can, I like to speak about the topic of countertransference, or what I like to call intertransference, since it is more related to the interrelational dynamics instead of countering another's dynamics.  Most of the time, people have no idea what this term really means.  Many psychologists (including myself) have trouble defining it.  Even within each theoretical orientation, there is little consensus, but here's a little history on the term to help explain to those interested:   

The term originated from a psychoanalyst named Sigmund Freud.  He stated that he found that his patient's were "transferring" some of their issues with past interpersonal relationships onto him.  This idea caught on in the theoretical orientation of psychoanalysis, but was not totally understood for several years.  Later, the term countertransference arose indicating that an analyst was having reactions to their patient's transferring of issues.  Instead of following the idea that transference/countertransference was interchangeable, Freud chose to focus on the phenomenon of transference as useful in treatment, but countertransference as a hindrance to treatment.  He implied that countertransference could get in the way of the analyst's objectivity and allow for the therapist's own issues to come into play. 

More recently, the term countertransference encompasses a more wide range of reactions by the therapist, whether relating to the client or not.   Whereas at one time, these reactions were   Still, this is only an illusion of power and control.  In reality, an analyst is both objective and subjective, but only when he/she acknowledges both.  We can understand countertransference to be occurring at all times with human beings - it is a transfer of energy. 

It is a phenomenon that occurs when we open up to another and in turn another opens to us.  When a relationship is developed, there are ways in which we act and react that reflect relationships from the client and the therapist's past.  In any relationship, both parties are affected, we cannot pretend that the analyst is a robot.  With shallow, acquaintance type relationships, these subtleties are rarely noticed, but with close, intimate relationships, there is a shift into something more complex, more reflective of ourselves.  We long to be close to others, and then when we are, a new level begins and with that comes past behaviors, patterns, and old ways of thinking.  Until we become more conscious of how these patterns envelop our relationships, we are likely to continue repeating a lot of the same mistakes.  Many times the reflection of ourselves that we see in others is very difficult to look at.  When the time is right, we will have the strength.  With patience and love, we can learn many new things about ourselves, and much more about the field of psychology and the study of the mind.